Sunday, January 1, 2012

A New Year Without You - Happy Birthday Montana

Happy Birthday my sweet boy! A new year is here and you are not. My heart is breaking as I think of you. You were my sweet boy. You helped me through my divorce from your Daddy. You were my everything. These past couple days have been hard as I think about how crappy 2011 was. My biggest loss this year was you, Montana. Yes, I got divorced and yes, I lost my job, but nothing compares to the loss of you. These past few nights I have prayed to God to let you come to me in my dreams. I can't tell if you did since I don't remember any dreams I had. I cry every night for you. I just long to touch you again. To stroke your soft fur and to hug you. I loved it when I would hug you and bury my face in your fur. You always smelled so good. There are just so many things I miss about you. I miss our walks and our quiet times together. I miss you laying at my feet while I was on the computer. I miss you pawing my knee to get my attention. Did I give you enough attention? Did I spend enough time with you? I don't think any amount of time was enough with you. I am glad I laid on the floor with you the last couple weeks you were here. I knew you didn't feel well and I wanted you to know how much I loved you and I was there for you. I know some day we will be reunited and I just can't wait for that day. There will never be another Montana. You were definitely one of a kind. So Happy Birthday in Heaven my sweet boy!

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