Tuesday, March 5, 2013

18 mos

My dear sweet Montana!  Where has the time gone?  Today marks 18 mos since you left me.  I miss you so much!  I thought time would ease the pain of your loss but I still cry every day for you.  I feel I am broken.  Will I ever heal?  I looked at a picture of our house in NC online and the picture shows the house with the yard.  I had to laugh because it shows the big bare area of where you would always go potty.  We could never get the grass to grow there.  You would always kill it.  Bailey would go in different places but you always would go in the same place. 

Bailey had a seizure a little over a week ago.  Scared me to death!  It happened to be her Proin that she is taking for her urinary incontinence.  I guess the dose was too high.  She seems to be fine...thank God!  I don't know what I am going to do when I lose her.  I try not to think about that at all.  If I did it would drive me insane.

It is snowing now.  I think you are the only Siberian Husky that didn't like the snow.  When we were in MI you seemed to like it ok but when we moved to NC you would tip toe through the snow, go potty, then hop right back onto the patio.  It was so funny!  I also have a picture of you hiding under the canoe when it was snowing.  It made me laugh.

You were such a silly boy.  You would always make me laugh and smile.  I find myself laughing and smiling when I think of the silly things you use to do.  I miss them.  I miss YOU!  I just wanted to write a little something to you since today marks 18 mos.  You are always on my mind.  24/7  What I wouldn't give to have you back again.  Only I would want you to be healthy.  I hope you didn't suffer long.  I wish I would have known you were really ill.  I will never forgive myself for leaving you the whole day you were getting worse.  I came home and I knew there was something desperately wrong!  I am so sorry my baby Doopus!!  I would have never left you!  You never showed me you were in pain.  You were so stoic!  You are now a healthy and happy boy!  You don't know how much I look forward until we are together again.  I will be happy when it is the three of us again.  The three of us went through so much together.  We will be happy again together.

Well my love...I must get some sleep.  Please visit me in my dreams.  I long to see your face and feel your fur under my hands.  Some day.....  Good night sweet boy!  I love you!

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