2 Days

You are not going to believe it!  I have not cried in two days.  What is happening to me?  Am I finally moving on and excepting your death?  I don't know what to think of it.  Today I was busy worrying about Bailey.  She had her tumor removed and I was a nervous wreck the whole day.  Sick to my stomach and everything.  I was so relieved when they called and said that things went well.  I was still nervous.  I didn't feel better until I got her home and took a good look at her.  She has quite the incision and obviously her chest is shaved.  They brushed her and cut her nails when they were done with the surgery.  I was very pleased to see that.  It looks like she will be ok.

I miss you so much, Montana.  Please don't think I don't love and miss you because I do.  More than you will ever know.  Maybe you do know.  Are you around?  I haven't seen any signs.  Were you there watching over Bailey during her surgery?  I like to think you were.  I got your urn last Thursday and couldn't open it.  Dumb me I was turning the screws the wrong way.  I brought it to Val and Andy's to help me open it.  I also brought the tin urn that you were in and the little baggy of your hair that I had.  Once we opened the new urn I had to open the tin urn where your ashes were.  I  didn't cry.  I got tears in my eyes but didn't cry.  I put the ashes, hair and two little cards from the crematorium in the new urn.  Sealed it back up and brought you home.  I miss you my big beautiful boy.  You are in my heart always.