18 mos

My dear sweet Montana!  Where has the time gone?  Today marks 18 mos since you left me.  I miss you so much!  I thought time would ease the pain of your loss but I still cry every day for you.  I feel I am broken.  Will I ever heal?  I looked at a picture of our house in NC online and the picture shows the house with the yard.  I had to laugh because it shows the big bare area of where you would always go potty.  We could never get the grass to grow there.  You would always kill it.  Bailey would go in different places but you always would go in the same place. 

Bailey had a seizure a little over a week ago.  Scared me to death!  It happened to be her Proin that she is taking for her urinary incontinence.  I guess the dose was too high.  She seems to be fine...thank God!  I don't know what I am going to do when I lose her.  I try not to think about that at all.  If I did it would drive me insane.

It is snowing now.  I think you are the only Siberian Husky that didn't like the snow.  When we were in MI you seemed to like it ok but when we moved to NC you would tip toe through the snow, go potty, then hop right back onto the patio.  It was so funny!  I also have a picture of you hiding under the canoe when it was snowing.  It made me laugh.

You were such a silly boy.  You would always make me laugh and smile.  I find myself laughing and smiling when I think of the silly things you use to do.  I miss them.  I miss YOU!  I just wanted to write a little something to you since today marks 18 mos.  You are always on my mind.  24/7  What I wouldn't give to have you back again.  Only I would want you to be healthy.  I hope you didn't suffer long.  I wish I would have known you were really ill.  I will never forgive myself for leaving you the whole day you were getting worse.  I came home and I knew there was something desperately wrong!  I am so sorry my baby Doopus!!  I would have never left you!  You never showed me you were in pain.  You were so stoic!  You are now a healthy and happy boy!  You don't know how much I look forward until we are together again.  I will be happy when it is the three of us again.  The three of us went through so much together.  We will be happy again together.

Well my love...I must get some sleep.  Please visit me in my dreams.  I long to see your face and feel your fur under my hands.  Some day.....  Good night sweet boy!  I love you!

I Only Wanted You

A Message From Heaven

The Day God Took You Home

Happy 2nd Birthday at The Bridge ( 2 days late)

It was your birthday on the first day of the New Year!  I am sure it isn't your true birthday but that is the day the vet gave you when we rescued you.  I never knew your true birthday and I never will.  I just wanted you to know that I thought about you all day.  I even shed a few tears on my way home from Florida.  We stopped at the Georgia Welcome Center and I saw a cute black and white husky.  Made me very sad.  I miss you so much!  I hope you had a wonderful party at The Rainbow Bridge with all your new and old friends.  I like to picture in my mind that you are surrounded by all your friends.  You are running through the fields and forests with them all.  I see a big smile on your face.  You are always happy now with no sadness or pain.  You want for nothing.  You have everything you need and that makes me happy.  So Happy Birthday sweet boy!  You are always in my heart and in my thoughts.

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AT RAINBOW BRIDGE

 

 THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AT RAINBOW BRIDGE

T'was the night before Christmas, at Rainbow Bridge too.
We Bridge kids were thinking as always of you.
We'd seen how the holidays weren't bright this year,
Heard you whisper so often, "I wish you were here!"

We know how you wish you could just stay in bed
And sleep through the holiday lying ahead,
When all celebrate with their loved ones so near...
Unless they have loved ones on this side this year.

But we're no less alive here, on the other side.
If you could just see us, you would've laughed and not cried.
The dogs all in harness, pulling the sleigh.
The cats all in Santa hats pointing the way.

The pet birds all flying back over the rainbow,
Bound homeward in spite of Earth's darkness and snow.
All the pets that you've lost, pets for whom you've cried,
Flying home on this Christmas to be by your side.

If you feel warm fur brush you when no pet's around,
Hear a soft bark or purr, just a ghost of a sound,
We're trying to tell you we're visiting this way,
And our visits, even rainbows, can be on any day.

But for Christmas we have something special to do,
A sleigh full of happy dream visits for you.
On doggy, on kitty, on winged friend and ferret!
The love that you lavished, we mean now to share it!

We're fetching that love home, the way we once played,
With the closeness we shared and the memories we made.
Our Earth lives with you were too short for us, too,
And on this Christmas Eve we have so much to do.

So all through this night as you sleep in your beds,
Sweet visions of fur babies dance in your heads.
This one special night we can bring you Home for a while,
Your true home in Heaven, where again you will smile.

Over the rainbow you'll fly, for a short while this night,
Hours that you'll be happy, hours that will feel right,
Hours to cuddle and hug us, to run and to play,
Before the return to Earth in our magic way.

And when you awaken and face Christmas Day,
We pray you'll remember your trip on our sleigh,
But in case you forget, just remember our love.
Remember us watching you, your angels above.

Sending love wrapped in rainbows, shining and bright,
Love that will guide you through the darkest night,
Love found in each memory unwrapped through the year,
Replacing dark sorrows with Christmas cheer.

Leave the toys to St. Nick, we Bridge kids bring dreams,
Sweet visits to remind you all is not as it seems
When you look all around you with tired Earthly eyes.
If you saw as we do, there'd be joy and surprise.

There are fur angels waiting by those Christmas trees,
Always there for you and hearing your pleas.
We're never more than a thought away from your home,
You're never forgotten, you're never alone.

Nor are we alone here, with our Rainbow Bridge friends.
We know only joy here, the celebrating never ends,
And after our reunions with you Christmas Eve,
We Bridge kids will party like you'd never believe.

But we'll slip away often to be by your side.
Sitting there watching you, eyes open wide,
Praying you'll be able to catch a glimpse of us, too.
But whether or not you see us - Merry Christmas to you!

15 mos and some days

Oh Montana....I miss you so much!  My heart is just so broken.  It has been 15 mos and some days since you left us.  I came across your Buster Cube tonight while I was looking for some toys for Bailey to play with.  It still had your kibble in it.  I thought Bailey might like something to play with that she hasn't seen in awhile.  Nothing seemed to interest her.  She has seemed pretty depressed lately.  I am sure she is missing your company.  I know it has been over a year but I don't think she has stopped missing you either.  I am going to Florida this year for Christmas and New Years.  I am going to have to board Bailey at the vets.  I have to do this because she is having a hard time holding her bladder lately and they will let her out more often then if I had a pet sitter come and let her out only 2 times.  I will miss her like crazy and will worry about her daily.  Please watch over her and protect her.

Bailey will be 11 in 2 days.  I wish I would have been able to have you here with me at 11.  It just wasn't long enough and it never would have been long enough.  You left me too soon, my sweet boy!  It is almost Christmas and I miss buying you Christmas stockings full of toys.  Even though you really didn't play with a lot of them it was fun to see you so excited over them.  I remember the first time you had your new Kong with peanut butter.  You loved it!  I also miss wrapping up a Busybone for the two of you and you smelling it and ripping the paper off.  It was so cute!  I wish I would have had videos of our Christmases together.  What a great thing to have.

I just can't wait until we are together again.  Every day will  be like Christmas then!  Love you baby boy!